Tuesday, February 7, 2017

is it something or nothing or ginger nut biscuit?

so i started my online courses today. i woke up minutes before 1030am and managed to have breakfast before turning on my laptop to get on the website. i'm pretty proud of myself. i had ginger but biscuits for the first time and i actually quite liked them! will recommend.

i started with philosophy and critical thinking, and introduction to human rights today. i find philosophy very very interesting and human rights very very complicating LOL but it was a good thing. it is a good thing. so with philosophy i learnt about how to form sound arguments and all that, then i stumbled upon this sentence : What doesn't have any being as a thing cannot explain why someone knows something if knowing something is something positive. that's a mouthful but whaaaaaa? that's philosophy for you. then with human rights i learnt about morals and ethics, normative and legals systems and all that stuff. heavy stuff.

then i had vegetable noodles for lunch. i discarded the remaining knorr's vegetable stock cubes i had because the salt content is just ridiculous. can you imagine, every portion of stock (1/6th of a cube) has 16% of your daily recommended intake of salt. and that's based of a 2000kcal diet. surely you don't just use 1/6th of a cube to make a pot of stock?? then i remember using HALF a fucking cube in 500ml of water to make my soup noodles, i'd be bald before 30. so THROW. so i ordered very low salt vegetable stock by kallo's instead. 0.1g of salt per 100ml. not bad. daily recommended intake is no more than 6g (a teaspoon) for adults based on a 2000kcal diet. though i think i messed that up with the stock cubes ugh.

then i went to class at 3pm and it ended at 5pm. i got back and made myself tomato sauce pasta with pan-fried cajun chicken. i'm stuffed until now. it's been over 4 hours. i think i overdid the pasta portion. i really couldn't tell.

it's gonna be a long day tomorrow because i have a lecture at 9am, then muay thai at 6pm and some other stuff in between. the maintenance people are also coming to fix the silicon lining in my shower because it's moldy as fuck. they say it's gonna take a couple of hours to do, then another couple of hours to dry. they asked me to shower in the morning just in case, but dude i have muay thai at 6, and i usually come back around 8/830 to shower. how is showering in the morning gonna help? i just hope by the time i'm done with muay thai, i can use the shower already.

i also hope that they don't step around my room because they've got their shoes on. ew? people here really need to reconsider their hygiene practices.

Monday, February 6, 2017

i forgot to blog yesterday.

i was distracted by the movie i was watching so i forgot to blog yesterday LOL nothing much happened yesterday anyway apart from me buying biscuits while i was waiting for my clothes to dry.


nobody's wondering but these were my spoils. never tried ginger nut biscuits before so i hope it's good. the honey and nuts belvita biscuits "may contain milk" but the chocolate chip one actually does? i'm sad because i really love the chocolate chip one, it's weird because this one has chocolate chips in it but it doesn't actually contain milk. ugh. as for nairn's, i hope it's not just a plain expensive brand LOL

my online courses are starting tomorrow so i plan to have these biscuits for breakfast. i scheduled for the courses to start at 11am, so now my alarm is set to 1030am everyday except tuesdays because i have 9am classes ugh. it's philosophy and human rights tomorrow, i hope i'll be able to keep up and not lose the willpower LOL

i asked a friend to play games with me today because i was bored, and i found this game called Oh Sir...!! The Insult Simulator on steam. the game was pretty funny and at times it made no sense because my friend (the opponent) took the words i wanted to use LOL


and the accent they used made the whole thing funnier and my favorite was sir arthur knight because he's insulting someone with a very proper english accent.

 seriously this is my personal favourite because my whole ancestry was mentioned and i finally have a wife.
 although i have a wife it's pretty sad to know that even if she's married to me she'd rather admire pictures of my sister that i never knew i had.
 and my son is defenseless young men (what even?) and it turned out that my wife was actually a hamster..........

and of course my mother farted on me. LOL playing the game is funnier than looking at videos so i recommend! 

speaking of games, i looked through my steam library today and remembered that i bought these horror games early december 2016. it was The Hat Man: Shadow Ward, House of Caravan and Decay - The Mare , i played the first two for a bit and being the scaredy cat that i am, i didn't play them for a very long amount of time BUT i will revisit them once i feel brave enough. it's not as scary to watch compared to actually controlling the character and playing the game LOL i suck. i might ask a friend to play this with me so i don't feel haunted. i also got the Cockroach Simulator game and i shall wait for someone to join me in this conquest hahahaha.

umm did my routine weekly cleaning today, washed my slippers. it was ok. i had yesterday's curry for lunch and dinner and ugh i'll stay away from curry for a couple of weeks. nah, i might make fish curry next week LOL my tesco delivery is coming on wednesday, before then i'll have to clear up all the stuff i have left so i have space for new ingredients. i bought crab so i'll look for something to make with it. I CAN'T WAIT.

i'm not sure what's happening to my daily reading but i should at least read like 5 pages of something today. i'll browse through the list of books i have. should i start with homophobias or logically fallacious? 

my brother sent me a message at 642am this morning asking me to wake up. and when i replied sup at 1131am he never replied again wtf. BOO.

Saturday, February 4, 2017

Virtue's Final Reward!!!

ok i finally beat the game omfg after so many hours HWIFHEHFIJWPF so twisted!! massive plot twist but i sort of guessed part of it actually hahaha!!


i got all 22 endings omg. can you imagine all these boxes used to be question marks??


i even got the platinum trophy! but of course, i am not really that capable so i relied on the walkthrough guide, NOT ALL THE TIME, but i did use it a lot of the time.

100% can you believe it? i don't even know how many 100%s i've ever gotten before but not many. and this is one of them! i'm happy. can't wait for the nonary games bundle! it's not released yet though, should i get zero time dilemma?? that's the sequel to this game hmm...

update on my most wanted status. the seller gave me a refund. poor seller. honestly, i prefer having a replacement of the game than a refund because i've been wanting to have a physical copy of the game. hmm hopefully there is chance that the game might arrive. i'll keep checking.

and apart from that, i enrolled in some online courses for free, but apparently it takes as much dedication as real school, except it's not 3 years long. like 3-6 hours per course per week. and i got a little carried away and enrolled in like 4 LOL so my timetable's a little bit packed. but i guess it's a good distraction compared to just gaming my ass off hahaha. and this way i won't feel so bad about not doing my daily reading because i have courses to do! hahahaha!! change of plans i guess.

i hope i don't forget that i still have real university lectures to go to LOL meh what are the chances that i forget about that??

it's been about 2 months and they are still visible.. just how long will it take?? that always serves as a reminder how much i wanted to do it again. the relief once it kisses my skin. i feel better. i guess it's a channeling of one kind of pain into another because then it will be more tolerable.and i'm glad that bitmoji can make everything seem less serious so people don't actually wonder.

Friday, February 3, 2017

boriiiiiing.

nothing happened today really.

i made my japanese pasta, it was a failure. i guess that's something? hahaha it wasn't totally a failure but it wasn't a success either. it tasted okay i guess.

spent my day doing fuck all and i honestly don't know how i lived through the day LOL all i could remember was playing with VLR the whole time. the game is getting more and more interesting and it makes me think about how twisted humans can be. ughhhh scary. i'm 90% through the game now, i think! just one column left. but there could be more that i still need to unlock. dunno.

dinner was soup and bread. a little sad but it was okay. a makeshift gm wonder soup i tried last year. i have leftovers for lunch tomorrow yay! then i'm gonna make a vege sandwich for dinner. gonna try using up stuff in my fridge. had to throw away my celery because it was frozen. it wasn't in the freezer, mind, it was in the vegetable drawer but the cooler is so cold everything freezes over. i've had 5 eggs and 2 lemons frozen and had to throw them away. what a waste ugh.

i'm gonna go down to the reception tomorrow to sort out my unite account. i wanted to send in a maintenance request but it says user not found? like wtf i didn't pay a couple of thousand pounds for shit like this... i really wanna get the moldy silicon thing replaced cause it's freaking me out! i mean, look at this!


isn't it disgusting as FUCK?!?!?! they said they have put in a note for me but guess what?? it's been 3 weeks! very efficient. so called best student accommodation... BOO. i disapprove.

alright enough with the negativity...

i wanted to read but i am currently very absorbed in VLR. i'll screw the reading plan for today......

Thursday, February 2, 2017

my legs are tired as fuck.

thanks to muay thai yesterday my legs are pretty much dead today. i don't think i'll be going anywhere tomorrow. i'll try out this ume shiso pasta i found online.

i went for a movie called prevenge. the screen was on the fourth floor LOL WTF i felt like my legs were melting on my way up. like jelly. anyway, the movie was about a pregnant woman on a killing spree. hahaha that's pretty much all i can say. oh and all the killing scenes were not censored or cut. which was very cool. check them out here but i guess it's only for UK people.


it's a pretty old school place. i think this place has history.

also my assassin's creed and ninja gaiden arrived, BUT WHERE IS MY MOST WANTED??? anyway i have raised an incident and hopefully it gets resolved soon. i can't wait to have a go at these games after i complete virtue's last reward! but i think i'm only halfway through unlocking all the endings hahah fuck me.


i honestly can't promise these will the last games i buy because i had a chat with my brother and we've decided to look for a game that is ps4 and psvita cross-playable. so maaaaybe i'll end up getting one or two more games. digitally! not physical copies at least. i think. i try. hehehe. by the way, i got assassin's creed so a friend can have a try at it. HI FRIEND HAHAHAHAHA but you will have to wait for 6 months.

i also remember that i decided to start reading in febuary. a couple of pages in a book or academic papers for at least 5 days a week. and it starts today! i have some articles i need to read so i hope i don't give up after like 2 minutes LOL.

and i've been listening to this playlist i made, hebe's performances on the reality show she's on. i seriously have forgotten how much my heart would melt until i heard her voice again. i just UGHHH IFHFWONCOEWNNCW SHE MELTS MY HEART!!! she is very sincere when she sings, that's what i really love about her. OH HOW MUCH HAS SHE GROWN??? it's been 10 years omg 😢

CHECK THE PLAYLIST OUT >>>> HEBE TFZ IS THE BEST

alright i need to go read now (before playing my game, virtue's last reward is building up!!!!) 

also i think a teammate in a game i play has a slight crush on me lololol

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Who am I really????

if anyone wanna try to look into themselves a little bit, try answering these questions!
from: http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/30-thought-provoking-questions-you-should-ask-yourself-every-day.html


1. Who am I really?
-i'm just a non-binary person struggling to make peace with my internal self and relying on others to regulate my emotions but that doesn't make me any less valid than anyone else.

2. What worries me most about the future?
-that i won't be able to be as honest i want toward the people that i care about the most, the people who deserve the truth from me. also the progression (or regression) of human rights hahahaha

3. If this were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?
-well if anyone read what happened to me today, i don't think i want my last lunch to be vietnamese beef noodles and my dinner to be banana and peanut butter sandwich. and fuck lectures on my last day of life, i'll just get on a flight back home and tell people i love that i love them. if the flight takes 17 hours, that means i have 7 hours with them. for the last day of my life, that's pretty good.

4. What am I really scared of?
-i'm scared that i'll be alone forever and that i'll only be chasing things or people i know i will never get near to. and i'm scared that i'll disappoint my family in whichever way, even if it's something i have no control over. and i'm scared that my kids will turn out to be bad people because of my inadequacy as a parent. and butterflies.

5. Am I holding on to something I need to let go of?
-i'm finding answers to this as well. because... how does one define the "need" to let go? when the pros outweigh the cons? how does one measure that? and what does "let go" really mean? how does one consciously decide to "let go" ? knowing that one should let go is one thing, the actual execution of that is another.

6. If not now, then when?
-when one day i wake up and finally realize that it doesn't bother me anymore. but i know, it will not be something i have chosen to do, it is something that comes to me. eventually, i hope. i've been there once and it was very relieving.

7. What matters most in my life?
-to be honest, i'll probably think that i matter most in my life. but that's just how i think, how i feel though, is entirely different. i just want people i care about to be happy, even if i wouldn't be.

8. What am I doing about the things that matter most in my life?
-i'd like to believe that people think i have the power to make them laugh. i know it doesn't solve problems, but personally, i'd like someone who can be serious enough to listen, and also fun to be around with when things don't have to go too deep. is that me? hahaha. i'm also trying to support movements that can bring human rights closer to human beings. i'd like to believe that i'm trying.

9. What do I matter?
-i don't know, really. i never really felt like i mattered much but sometimes people tell me i do. so i listen. maybe i'm a nice friend.

10. Have I done anything lately worth remembering?
-hahahaha yes. all my firsts. this whole studying abroad thing is worth remembering.

11. Have I made someone smile today?
-not sure if it has to be physical, but does getting a HAHAHAHAHA as a reply count?

12. What have I given up on?
-hmmm. i guess i sort of have given up on my volunteering work. other things? i wouldn't say "give up" but more like i need more guts so i haven't gotten around pursuing them yet.

13. When did I last push the boundaries of my comfort zone?
-if i don't remember does it mean that it was a long time ago?

14. If I had to instill one piece of advice in a newborn baby’s mind, what advice would I give?
-be a kind person. don't do drugs.

15. What small act of kindness was I once shown that I will never forget?
-this taxi guy who discounted the moving fees of £10 that should have been added to the fare when he drove me and my stuff from the storage place.

16. How shall I live, knowing I will die?
-as true as possible to myself,  as kind as long as i remember to, hurt no good people except with the truth they need or deserve to hear, be there as much as possible. always have an open mind to see from other people's eyes, apart from bigots because they suck.

17. What do I need to change about myself?
-i know i need to feel less negative about things, and be more disciplined. but i really can't help it.

18. Is it more important to love or be loved?
-they are equally important but i guess that's not the point of this question.... i'd choose loving someone first, because then i'll have sort of a purpose.

19. How many of my friends would I trust with my life?
-less than five. around 3 or 4. i trust many friends, just not all of them with my life.

20. Who has had the greatest impact on my life?
-i was and am still being molded by the accumulation of experiences with different people. but there is one friend that opened my eyes to what matters in the world, and gave me the means to find a sense of self-liberty. thank you.

21. Would I break the law to save a loved one?
-it depends. if the loved one did something that deserved to be punished for? what can i do about it? otherwise, probably.

22. Would I steal to feed a starving child?
-why should i steal? can't i find food legally? i would at least ask for help.

23. What do I want most in life?
-i want to find love and pursue my dreams. and i want everyone to be happy for me.

24. What is life calling of me?
-make the world a less daunting place to be. i don't really know? but i know what my ears and heart are for. hopefully making the world a better place.

25. Which is worse: failing or never trying?
-never trying. but i've been doing that despite knowing that it's the worse of the two.

26. If I try to fail, and succeed, which have I done?
-i have succeeded in failing.

27. What’s the one thing I’d like others to remember about me at the end of my life?
-mezors has changed my life and made me a better person. or... now that mezors is gone, nobody has the best jokes anymore.
 
28. Does it really matter what others think about me?
-to me, it really depends on who the "others" are.

29. To what degree have I actually controlled the course my life has taken?
-probably 30% because i don't take control, i go with the flow. even if i don't for the remaining 70% of the time, life still goes on, like a chain effect from the 30% that i took control of.

30. When it’s all said and done, will I have said more than I’ve done?
-most probably. because i know i'm not one who has enough courage to do everything that i wanted to. although i really wish that this won't be the case in the future.

hmmm i wonder what that says about me... 

end of january.

seriously? it's february already tomorrow? ugh.

i overslept this morning and missed my 9am class; i blame the dream i had which i now don't remember at all. but i remember that it was pretty exhausting because i was running around in the dreams for reasons unknown to myself. i went for a seminar at 3pm, and bailed on the 4pm one because the announcement said "present' in one of the sentences but the a classmate told me there wasn't any real "presenting" hahaha shit.

i also spoke to my brother after 5 months. it was nice. we talked about games and shit but we don't really have many cross-platform multiplayer games we can play together. he asked me to google so i will do that soon. well at least we have diablo 3; in fact, he bought the game, expansion and everything like 2 years ago. very nice. might ask him for a game soon. i resent him sometimes and still miss him, i suppose. :((((((((((( ultimate multi-chin.

before the 3pm seminar, i got myself the vietnamese beef noodles i couldn't get yesterday. it was pretty windy so it felt very comforting. but i must say, that would be the last time i'll be having beef. at least i'll try reducing the frequency of beef consumption for the next few months. i got reminded that beef also contains growth hormones and shit, so similar to milk, they can wreck your skin. ugh i'll see you again soon, beef. oh yeah, remember the spring rolls i mentioned before that i didn't know what meat it was made of? it was pork LOL it's in the description in the menu online HAHAHAHAHA.

i was walking down the street and this guy was singing kuch kuch hota hai LOLOLOL i was like, why is this song so familiar? that's because i heard it before in malaysia. i think the street performer was a malaysian too. but no, i didn't drop him a penny.

 there you go. a reminder.

also went to muay thai tonight. it was pretty tiring. but at least i got a slight hang of how the left kick should be done! also did the achievement aiming thing.

umm since this post is pretty short, i'll do the introspective self-questioning taken from http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/30-thought-provoking-questions-you-should-ask-yourself-every-day.html in another post.

DOUBLE POSTS YAY! though i think, according to the blog's layout, by now you would've read that post first before this one LOL