My favourite birthday gift...?

The shirt is not here cause I'm wearing..

Sorry I can't pick! ;)

Self-Disclosure

Faking, faking, faking.
That's all I've been doing.
I hate to take in all this shit.
I hate witnessing the distance.
Even if it's not even a distance away.

Sometimes I hope for your disappearance.
I hope for you to just go,
Anywhere, just go further.
Cause I wanna have it all by myself.
Even if it's selfish.

I have lies.
But there's nothing I can do.
Cause it's something I want so much.

Cheer 2010

Such a tiring day...
Pirates was the 6th and 7th team,
Girls then boys respectively.
They did well compared to some other shitful teams,
Probably one of the best.

They used Adam's "For Your Entertainment" !
Other 2 teams as well,
With 1 team using "If I Had You".
Even Malaysian's very own CHARM team uses the FYE song.
I'm happy ! :D

And today,
History happened.
I made up my left eye,
And the person who took my first time was Eve,
And Miko with the eye shadows after.

Pirates All Girls won the Best Costume Award,
But for the guys,
They didn't win anything.
At least they gave their very best :)

After the competition,
I was interviewed..
Not on TV -.-
A person asked me questions,
And I answered.
That's all.

Yes, I'm very very proud of Pirates ;)
Arrr~

Lawn Mower.

No, this post has nothing to do with the title.

Had KFC Pocketful today,
It was "ma-ma-dei"..
Prefer Twister if I had'a choose :\
Oh, Eve and Aki as company as well :D
Starbucks too ! Caramel Macchiato ;)

And about the previous post
"Random Friend-ness"
Can't believe they want me elaborate on them -.-
Okok I will when I have to time to "compose" something about you guys.
But first,
Message me about the things you want unknown -.-

Titanic at TV2,
10.36 pm,
No I'm not watching it -.-

I prefer shows that blends the human brains and then drink'em down.
I know, sorry -.-

Sleeping over at Eve's place this Friday,
She says she wanna kick me,
What should I do?

Random Friend-ness.

Just something about the friends around me :D
They bring me up when I'm down,
And lighted me up when I'm in darkness.
Thank you. :)

There are some friends I consider as family,
Or the way they gave me is so family-like..
Like...
Yean Yin, something like a cousin..
Hui Xin, like a damn big sister XD
And Eve !
Physically, she's like my younger sister *Bully-able*
But age-wise she's older than me by 4 months :X
(The sister is also one :\)

My buds...
Low Jia, the emo-pro
Aki, Starbucks :D
Shierli, stomach pain poh -.-

Some very close until I can slap geh XDD
Shanon, si ngong poh HAHA
Sook Wei, my faraway relative -.-
Ah Sau (I know, you're the alien here), always kena bully by me :D

And lastly,
These are 38 pohs -.-
Joey Cheng, the cannot curi-curi makan one
Jia Xin, ... I also dunno what to say :X

Sorry if I missed out anyone..
But the list above,
They don'tmean different levels in my heart,
All of you are the same! (I think? OK JustKidding)
Thanks for being there when I actually hate my life!
Like.. now?

My only escape.

I have only my friends.
I can only be open with them.
Not all open,
But at least I'm more "me" than being with my family.

For the first time in my life of 17 years,
I felt like home is not the place to be.
I don't feel like going back home.
I don't belong there.

I fake things.
I fake my emotions.
I said I didn't care,
But no,
That's not the case.

I said I didn't care,
Because I was hoping I could.
When I was laughing over the shit of my life,
I was hoping that what I felt was real.
Happy.

Nobody knew right?
Because I'm already so good at it.
Laughing over my fucked up life.
My fucked up family.

School,
I prefer that over my own damn house.
My house, cold and nothing else.

I love my friends,
Cause that's literally my only shelter.

Make a change.

I am so ashamed of myself
I really need to make some progress.
No, A LOT of progress.

I don't want to be looked down at.
I want to be a friend that deserves to be looked upon.
A friend that you can seek knowledge and help from.

I can't continue to be ignorant anymore.
I can't hate studying anymore.
I can't be a useless friend to people.
Or what thier mothers think, at least.

I can be polite, I am.
I can be fun, I am.
I can be generous, I am.
I can be smart, but I'm not.

People can be naturally intelligent,
Naturally beautiful,
But you can't be naturally smart or perfect.
We've got to work for it.

I'm studying.
Now.