A Big Apologize...

Lol,
I'm supposed to post this yesterday,
But my uncle is ruling the comp,
So,
I'll do it now.
--------------------
Dear Toki,
I feel so sorry,
And guilty too.
You always send me back and I left you walking back alone.
A big >.< for me.
I promise next time I'll give you a ride home ok?
But I think it'll end up being you sending safely back again.
I'll treat to something one day...
Sorry! >.< again.

Your's truly,
Dummy.
--------------------
So,
wanna have breakfast ?
I'm attracted to the times breakfast...
Hehe.

By the way,
My guitar grade is raised ! Yay! XD

**Having fish head lunch tomorrow =D**

Never thought...

I can't believe that I cried today.
Right in front of the comp,
Where I'm still typing Good News post for NSO.
What a contrast...!

I'm crying,
Yet I'm sending out good news to people.

Over the same thing,
I think I'm gonna get over it,
Then start saving to get to my Boxing class.

You stupid people out there who thinks Boxing are way too rough for girls,
Think again!
I'm not a weak one, not the weakest one.

Yes,I'm referring to someone,
And yes, I'm referring to my Dad,
He just doesn't understands it,
I'm gonna show him,
I don't care how or what he thinks,
I'm gonna take up Boxing for sure,
Wait and see Dad,
Wait and see.

I'm gonna prove that you're wrong,
And stupid to think of that!
I'm furious, I'm in a rage!
I'm on fire and I'm angry, dissapointed, and full of hatred over you!
You're goin down man!

Unpredictable..

Life,
Is freaking unpredictable.

Turn one round,
You're stabbed at your back,
Killed by your own friend,
You fall and die silently,
Without anybody knowing.

Or I say,
Somebody else just goes away,
Was it today?
I heard Micheal Jackson's gone.
To somewhere so far,
I didn't know where.
I wouldn't even have the courage to know where.

Maybe tomorrow will be anybody's turn,
Mine, yours, his, hers, theirs, or ours.

I pray it wouldn't be mine.
Or anybody else's around me.
Time, time, time.
We don't have much of those left.
But how much would we cherish the only time left given to us?

We will never know what is going to happen tomorrow,
The day after, or 10 years, 20 years after today.

Sounding artistic huh?
Yeah,
So I'm trying to grab hold of time,
Trying to have a good look of the world,
Maybe that is why I started to love traveling
Looking for the good things in life,
And just leave the bitter ones behind.

I'm letting go of grudges,
Or maybe I've done it.

I'll try striving for what I really want,
With everything I've got.

Maybe.
Just a maybe.

Why can't I...?

Have you felt that way,
When you wanna learn something,
I mean "finally" you wanna learn something,
Then you just can't ?

Maybe you will see it as a small matter,
But actually I found my other passion,
Besides singing.

Boxing.

In may sound fierce,
Or rough,
But actually it's good for the whole body,
And since I-Don't-Know-When,
I really like it,
I'm really into it you know.

Imagine you really like flying,
At last you've found a flying academy where the people are good and you really wanna learn from them,
Then BOOM!
You've been declined.
Talking about the price of the fees,
Or any sort that are similar.

Just the same.

I really like boxing.
Although today is just the first day,
Or maybe officially the last day,
I can feel that I wanna master it.
I feel great using all the energy up.
You feel weak after that,
Then stronger you'd be after.

Isn't that great for someone like me,
Who doesn't even like moving around with feet except traveling,
Who doesn't like things like "senamrobik",
Who doesn't really care about sports,
Actually like boxing.

I was so depressed and rejected after I got a "no" from my mother.
I still am.
I really wanna...
Well...

Sometimes I just don't understand.
I didn't ask to be a member of California Fitness,
Then you gave it to me,
Now I just wanna learn Boxing,
Yes, it may cost a number,
But,
At least I wanted it.
I can be dedicated to it.
I know and I'm sure I can.

Too bad my she didn't know.
She didn't even wanna try to know.

Maybe I should stop now.

Not the right time, but...

I guess I'm really bored right now...
Hmm...?
You know,
People like me think of things that are unnecessary
I think of the past, the future, the present...
And stuff like that, stuff that people don't often think about.

I used to think that,
Sometimes,
When you have to speak about something,
You have to be extremely careful,
Extremely extremely careful.

You can't just start splashing your mind out,
You can't just say what you think of.
Although it's just an honest opinion or an honest thought.

They get what you are saying,
But they kind of like, put it in a wrong way,
And things come up at the wrong time.

Is it wrong to be honest about what you think?
Is it actually wrong to let others know what you think...?
Sometimes, it is when you say it to the wrong people.
But still,
At least I'm honest to myself.

Hmm..?
There's still someone in my head?
Yes, there is someone "still" in my head.
Never thought it would turn out this way.
But it did.
Not unfortunately or fortunately,
It just...
Happened.

I guess that's the way it should be.
It's the furthest we can get.
But I think I'm happy with it.
Definitely it's better than not even knowing about each other,
Right?
Yeah, right. Totally.

Cheers! =)

Oh my...

Geek..

I skipped school again today.

All just to avoid the senamrobik thingy...

Man, I actually have to do girlie stuff....

Well, not to say I must do things manly but...

Its way to girlie and disgusting...-.-

I'm bored in my own house.

Well, good thing!

At least I'm going to Matthew's tuition later...

I could have fun speaking English and making fun of him -.-

Then Dad's bringing me out to dinner =D

But..

just simple lah -.-

not say DINNER then

WHOA!

Steak !

Lobster!

Lamb Shank!

Its maybe..

Madam Lim?

Or even KFC -.-

Haiz.

I'm too bored to think of anything.

And I've finished watching

ZETTAI KARESHI!!!!! (Absolute Boyfriend)

Lengzai!!! XDXD

Hayami Mokomichi

I really like him...

Hehehehe...

Whoa...

Now I like S.H.E, Leehom, Adam Lambert, And him!

Hahahahaha

But I love S.H.E

What am I crapping about -.-

School...?

Nope, I didn't go to school today.
I was so tired,
And a little sick.

Nah, just bored,
updated NSO blog awhile before,

By the ways,
Toki,
Your RM22 I'll return it right away whenever I see you.
And Yean Yin's RM2 too, -.-

Man,
I really hope time goes by faster,
Can't wait for my seafood.
Hahahahaha!!!

I plan to get some fresh fish,
What is it called again?
The stingray, yeah.. Ikan Pari in Malay...

Then I'll make either plain bake with lime,
Or tomyam, curry, or citrus bake!
Hahaha,
not bad, i'm creative in food!

But I want rice TT
But I can't just make them -.-

Oh my,
I'm hungry!

Go to NSO blog please.

NSO people.
Something's up.
Go there and vote for where to go this year end.
And also,
Give suggestions about the Buffet Day too.
Thanks.

Click here.

NSO Melaka Trip

Attention NSO people!

Year end organizing trip to Melaka
Of course,
we're on our own,
or you people prefer taking tour?

Cause if we're free scheduled,
we can have a free place to settle (Most probably),
we pick where we go,
we don't have to rush time,
or walk with strangers.

But if we take tour,
We have to pay for everything,
But transport and food is taken care of,
Of course, we'll have a place to stay too,
and we know where we're gonna go.

But the thing is,
after all the research I've done,
there's nowhere to go in Melaka...
-.-,
So maybe we could go somewhere else?

Goo Goo Go go?

Goo goo go go...
Go go gaa gaa gaa...
Gaa gaa goo goo goo...

What?
Dunno...
Just getting bored at this hour
No programs on TV

Well
Today Toki and I went eating after school
We went Mamak
Then to Carrefour
Then to Starbucks
She ordered Caramel Macchiato
She drank and drank....
Drank and drank....
Until I can't take it anymore and...
Sorry Toki!
No, I didn't drink hers
I asked her to buy it for me.
Lazy to walk

Then we had a chat.
But the chat lasted as long as many chats
Many past and histories are brought up....
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
........
.........
..........
.........
........
.......
......
.....
....
...
..
Let past be past and only past OK?

I've noticed...
I've changed all these while..
Really, I have.

But personally I think it's a good thing

And, Oh my
I was so sick at school today
What I mean sick is
I'm really SICK
It's like my intestines are roller-coasting
Then you feel like removing everything

NSO:
Melaka at end of the year?
I heard bus fees only RM12! -.-
About the settling, maybe I can persuade my grandma to have a stay at her house?
About where to go, we'll consider about it later when we're gathered -.-
Thanks

Result matters

I went to school
Then to tuition
Then on the way back to tuition
Then home

In the car
I got some scolding from my mother
For like 20 minutes
Way back home

Said she sacrifice
Sacrifice everything
For me
Want I want
She gave me
What I asked for
She gave me
Said she gave me her time
Her money
Her effort to make my happy
But I didn't do the same

I know I didn't
But still
I'm trying to try

I'm sad
I'm down
I'm depressed
Maybe just a little depressed

She said I only know how to play games
How to chat with friends online
How to play Psp

And never did what she asked me to
Like study and any household chores

She said don't make her feel disappointed
Don't disappoint her
I don't want to
It's the last thing I wanna do in my whole life

She said all those
Just because I failed my Physics
On the line with maths
And get half of add maths

She compares me with people
"My friend's daughter, XXX, got straight A's for PMR"
"My friend's son, XXX, got straight A's for SPM"
"My friend's child is a Doctor"
"My friend's this is that, this is that..."

It's not like I don't wanna do it
They're them
I'm me
God gave my mom a ME
Not them
Not the Doctor kid and her friend's daughter or son

I'm sorry if she feels sad for not having a child like them
I'm sorry if I don't do well
I'm sorry I'm born stupid in academic
I'm sorry I hate maths
I'm sorry I'm her kid

But who is there to be blamed?
It's my fault I'm born?
It's my fault I hate maths?

My dad is not staying with me since I was 4
My mom took care of me since then

I thank her for feeding me
I thank her for taking care of me
I thank her for loving me

But still
Dad's not always around
Just often, not always

I don't know
Really.
I don't know what to do
I don't know what to think of

I blame myself
I'm actually blaming myself

For not studying hard enough
For not doing well enough
For everything

I couldn't stop it.
I'm really depressed.
I feel like dying.
And leave mom a little less trouble.

給你的

擺下一切
我看清楚了
四周圍
我學會了放下
學會了接受

To:在我身旁的一個人

我們不需要說服自己
別人也不需要說服我們
苦呢, 多數都是自己找的
我不希望你是這樣子

至於胡思亂想呢,
你呀,
就是愛想太多
別想太多了

要的話,
放手去追!
給自己點信心嘛
不要都把自己藏在裡面了...

我祝福你哦

Crap crap crap...

Lalalala
Somebody wants me to crap

So as a big Genie
I decided to make her wish come true
Imagine I'm a big blue Aladin Genie
Rub rub rub
**POOF!**
"Master! You have 3 wishes..."
Blah blah blah...

NO!
I'm bored
I need traveling
I need money
I need...
Nothing else..

Crap
What is crap?
The definition of crap is something that people don't wanna hear even if they're bored outta their butts
Understand?

So I'm crapping
And nobody is listening
Great. Just great

Zam zam Alakazam
Abra Kadabra
Wee wee wang wang wang

I think I should stop now

Happy?
*POOF!*
I'm gone

Genting

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Macam betul.

Eh eh eh
End of this year I wanna go Genting or travel again!
With the same people hopefully
Cause other people just can't take it
I know YOU can't!

Have a nice day!