whoa my first recognized anxiety attack!

so i tried doing work today and i started feeling a little weird about 1 hour into working. my heart started pounding i could feel it in my ears and i needed to breathe heavily and i was struck with a sense of dread and something told me "i need to get the fuck outta this place",  i was at the library by the way so tried calming down and packed my stuff and came back. and fuck of all times it had to be windy and freezing during the time i left. i thought it'd be over the moment i got back but the feeling didn't go away. i googled the symptoms and i was expecting like a heart attack or something (nah jk) but it was a mild anxiety attack. causes? many causes and apparently stress is one but i'm not sure if it was due to stress. maybe because too many things was running through my mind (philosophical question: where does the mind reside?).

that was something to remember. anyway, before i went to the library, i cashed in some coins at the bank and i had £16.12 in coins! that's something to blog about. then i collected my books (more books yay!) from waterstones, that was £12 gone. at least i got £4 which i used to buy lunch because i forgot to make it before i got out.

i came back after the anxiety attack. i made herbal corn and chicken soup for dinner which was nice. there were like black kernels on the corn is it safe to eat?? i ate around it anyway. i've got extra for tomorrow which is good because it will be a long long day.

i honestly can't stop coughing today. something's stuck in my throat and whenever i start coughing it feels like my lungs are about to come out. as though me coming out wasn't enough (ba-dum-tss, is this how you use it?). i got a little bit of my voice back but i can't sing properly yet. i hope this wouldn't affect my muay thai performance tomorrow.

I'M RUNNING OUT OF MILO NOOOOOOOO i have only 1 sachet left i will get more tomorrow from the asian market. i hope the low sugar ones won't affect the taste too much because it's the taste of home to me although the water in england sorta messed that up for me :( i'll wake up at 6am tomorrow to work on my draft. ugh.