Valentines

So what if it's Valentines...
Doesn't matter to me because everything is still the same.

Today I went to college,
On my way, I was thinking of many things,
Thanks to the traffic jam.

As I think of my past and what's present,
I couldn't help feeling a little bit upset,
In fact the feeling came up to my guts.

I felt teary then.

I realized sometimes it's not the effort that counts,
It's the subject you're putting effort into.
Maybe I don't even mean a thing after all I've done.

Heck, nobody forced me to do it so who is there to blame?

It was my choice to begin with and there's nothing I can do about it.

A friend once told me about a feeling,
A feeling where you begin to undergo a transition of emotions,
From caring to letting it be,
Then there goes being bored of caring too much.
Begin to let things slip,
And you refuse to care anymore.
"Whatever."

Any relationship is hard to maintain,
It's something I know.

The harder you try the harder you fall,
As you try harder the hole gets deeper.

Honestly,
I'm tired of being the only one in this.
I'm tired of being the only one stabilizing everything just to watch you screw me up.
I'm tired of pretending that I don't care so why not I just make it real?
"I don't care anymore."

Maybe you're just a passerby in life and I was the one keeping you in my spotlight.
I let my circle of light chase you so that I wouldn't lose sight of you.
Like on a stage you wonder what happens after the curtains were let down?

But there's one thing,
Could I really not care?
No.

Face it.